As you prep your child for cell phone bans at school, here are a few ways to make the transition smoother:
Most kids don’t know life without a device, so they don’t understand what it feels like to go without one for 8 hours. Research shows that allowing phones in a classroom negatively impacts test scores and even long-term retention. Explain to your child that not having a phone at school will help them focus, and yes, maybe even get smarter than you.
For older students, compare last school year (with phones) to this school year (without). This gives them both an intrinsic goal (“become smarter than my parent”) and space for self-reflection, both powerful tools for adopting change.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times my son has texted me because he forgot something at home, or to ask if he could hang out with a friend after school. Without a cell phone, students must plan ahead and think through what’s happening in their day, and even their week. Planning ahead and communicating are key life skills. Use the ban as an opportunity to teach your child how to plan and communicate - with you, their teachers, and their friends.
The most common concern parents share with me about phone bans is safety. What if there’s an emergency? This is where open conversations matter. Reassure your child that their teacher will help keep them safe and contact you immediately if needed. Talk through what to do in specific scenarios. This builds confidence and helps kids feel secure, even without a phone in their pocket.
How often does your child see you without your phone? When your child talks to you, is your phone put away? Kids mirror what they see. Show them that it’s possible to socialize without a screen, and to be entertained without a constant stream of notifications. Demonstrate that phones are tools we use when needed, not because a buzz tells us to.
School is practice for the real world, where focus equals power and discipline equals success. I’m sure you can think of moments when your phone distracted you and hurt the quality of your work - or even a relationship. If we teach our kids to have a healthy relationship with cell phones now, it’ll be much easier for them to carry those habits into adulthood.
Boundaries aren’t punishment. Boundaries are freedom.
